Not attending Funeral Wake make me a bad person?

[travis]

I have a best friend who was found dead in her home. She had health problems. I was also her neighbor and very close friend. We spent everyday talking and hanging out.

I am finding it very difficult to get over this. I can't eat,Sleep,and being diabetic my stress is causing my blood sugar levels to be somewhat higher than normal.

I had witnessed the people bringing her body out of the house in a body bag and placing her on a stretcher and putting another bag over her and place her into the van. This image is burned into my head. I close my eyes and and all i can see is that. I am crying so much. I find myself waiting for the phone to ring and knowing she won't be on the other end. I miss her so much..

I really don't want to go to the wake/funeral because i want to remember her the way she used to be..Very funny,cheerful,and a beautiful smile. I am trying so hard to get the body image out of my head. Just seeing her in a casket will hurt me even more. I know she wouldn't want me to see her like that either.

Would this make me a bad person?? I signed her guest book on the funeral page also.

Please let me know.

Thanks

[makkapitew]

no not at all.... funerals are often a pantomime anyway... people turn up who hadn't bothered seeing the dead person for years... respect should be given and shown to people when they are LIVING.

[caerau82]

i'm sorry to hear that. i dont think it makes you a bad person. i dont go to them either. the last 2 for me were family members, and i didnt go. its too hard. people should know that you care, but people deal with things in their own way. i dont think you should feel bad...

[tavon]

I can relate. I didn't want to go to my uncles funeral, because the Chemo treatment for his cancer reduced him to nothing. Who cares what others think, you were born alone, and often times, you're alone when you die....just like your friend. You already paid your respects, screw what others think.